Books and stories teach us to perspective-take. I have read studies suggesting that because Gen X (me) and Boomers (people older than me) largely read setwork books authored by (white) men about (white) male protagonists (think The Catcher in the Rye, Lord of the Flies, Macbeth, Huckleberry Finn, I am David,) and because men of my generation also largely only chose similar books in their voluntary reading, (Wilbur Smith, Jeffrey Archer, Robert Ludlum, John Grisham, Stephen King) they are less able to empathise and perspective-take than people who have read books written by diverse authors about protagonists who are of different races, genders, religions, abilities.
This may or may not be true and I am not trying to debate it – but seeing as we want to use all the free empathy hacks available to us, I can’t imagine why we may we refuse to be open-minded to this possibility.
Empathy issues aside, I do encounter an attitude from time to time that reinforces the falsehood that what men have to say is universally important, while what women have to say only applies to women and girls. (For example, I have never been asked to speak at a boy’s school about my expeditions but have had countless invitations to speak at girls’ schools and women’s day events.) This is bollocks and needs to be stamped out. What men have to say is universally important. What women have to say is universally important. We matter equally and have equally valuable lessons to impart.
Either way I didn’t think any of this impacted me because I have always (smugly) made a point of reading books by a variety of diverse authors about a wide range of protagonists. But then I did a quick survey of the bookcase devoted to my collection of leadership books (I am addicted to leadership books), and except for Brene Brown and Sheryl Sandberg, every single one of them were authored by (old) white men. Why did I have no leadership books by women and black people? Or gay people?
I suppose this is not particularly surprising considering that one reads what is readily available and that most leaders were, (until very recently anyway), (old, straight, white) men. Of course, this in no way detracts from the brilliance of many of these books and I will certainly keep avidly reading them – but I have to be less lazy and more deliberate about increasing my capacity for curiosity and seeking perspectives that are more diverse, especially in this genre. And so do you. (Especially if you are a white male leader because you already have your own perspective).
With this in mind, I took to social media to get recommendations on leadership books written by black people, women, gay people, disabled people and the first recommendation I got was ‘Boardroom Dancing’ by the formidable Nolitha Fakude.
With a career spanning 29 years, Nolitha has spearheaded programmes that ensure the development of women and marginalised communities in the workplace and society. A passionate advocate for diversity and inclusion, she has earned a well-deserved reputation as a corporate activist. Nolitha is held in extremely high regard within business circles and currently serves on numerous boards including the JSE Limited, Anglo American plc and Afrox Limited. She is formidable and smart and elegant. Best of all she is from a tiny village just outside Stutterheim in the Eastern Cape. There are so very many lessons from this book that I hardly know where to start.
One of the most powerful examples of trust building, allyship and vulnerability which she shares is a story from her days at Sasol and relates to Pat Davies who was the CEO at the time:
“I remember an incident that occurred after I had been at Sasol for about 6 months. I had started to notice that after Pat would ask me to do something, he would often ask another colleague to do the same thing. I brought this up with him, asking why he was doing it, as it felt like he was second-guessing me. ‘I’m actually trying to help,’ he said. The organisation is still new for you, and it is so big. These people know the organisation better.’
‘Okay but out there it appears as if you don’t trust that I will deliver. It doesn’t send a good message. Even if it’s not intentional it will have negative and unintended consequences on the organisation, I explained.
‘I’m sorry, you are right’, he agreed. ‘In our next ExCo session I’d like you to raise this again. But do it in the way you just have with me so we can have this conversation and role model to the team how a person can do things with unintended consequences, and also how a conversation like this can take place without being dysfunctional or negative. ‘
We did just that at our next monthly ExCo session…… In addition to these learnings around unintended consequences of actions, there was a big lesson about the importance of a leader’s willingness to make himself vulnerable. For Pat as CEO to make himself that vulnerable – with me, in front of the team and in general – was so significant to our ability to change the culture of the organisation. What that vulnerability gained us was trust: when a leader is prepared to show vulnerability, people are much more likely to engage constructively and openly themselves, and this is invaluable.”
There is so much more to share about Boardroom Dancing, so watch this space. But more importantly, read it yourself.